Adults often fill silence because they want to help. But a child may still be processing the question, finding a word, locating an AAC symbol, organising a gesture or deciding whether to respond. Rapid prompts can turn communication into a test. Waiting creates space for the child to lead.
The American Speech-Language-Hearing Association’s waiting-and-pausing guide explains that a pause can help a child process, respond and feel heard. ASHA’s AAC guidance also includes longer wait time, active listening and visual supports as communication-partner strategies.
Change the adult pace first
Ask or comment once, then pause. Quietly count to five—or longer if the child usually needs it—without repeating the question. Keep an open, relaxed posture, but do not demand eye contact. Watch for words, signs, pointing, movement, facial expression, typing, pictures or a device. Each can carry meaning.
Make turns visible
Use a simple signal such as placing a neutral “my turn/your turn” card between partners, moving one shared object or saying, “I’ll wait.” Practise during enjoyable activities: building blocks, choosing music or sharing a snack. The goal is not perfectly equal turns. It is making room for both people while allowing the child to finish.
Respond to the message, not the form
If the child points to a drink, respond to the request before asking for extra words. Model a useful phrase without requiring imitation: “More water.” Avoid taking over an AAC device or moving the child’s hands. If no answer comes, offer a clear choice or say, “You can tell me later,” instead of escalating prompts.
AutDHD’s communication-processing guide and AAC-at-home article provide related ideas. A speech-language professional can help when communication barriers are persistent or frustrating. A successful pause is not empty time—it shows the child that their communication is worth waiting for.
This is general information shared for parent awareness, not medical advice. Every child is different — please confirm decisions with your child’s doctor or a suitably qualified professional.